Tuesday, August 25, 2009

How to Win Friends & Influence People: Part 2

Here we continue with my read through of Dale Carnegie’s famous book How to win friends and Influence people. Today we explore Chapter two titled: The Big Secret of Dealing With People. So far this book has lived up to all the hype I heard about it before. It is definitely worth reading.

Chapter 2: The Big Secret of Dealing with People

Dale begins by telling us that the only way to get someone to do something is to make them want to do it. That’s it in a nutshell. Sure you can force them to do something but, that only works for a short time.  When your not around you can sure little or nothing will get done. you have to give people what they want in order to get them to do something.

So what to do people want? Most if not all people want to feel important or appreciated in some form or manner. Aside from normal physical needs the feeling of importance is high on the list of people’s wants. I worked at one job where I thought I did the job well.  I was efficient and hard working. I was pretty much the only doing it my company and so I felt I had an important job in keeping the job flow moving. My one boss appreciated it so much they gave me a few raises that were considered merit raises along with normal pay increase. I felt like an important part of the company. Along the way I had the opportunity to move to a different position. I felt at the time it was a good move. I did OK in the job but, I felt something missing inside me. I was now among many doing the same job and felt less important. Eventually through circumstances(not negative though, They couldn’t find someone to replace me) I went back to my old job. I was never happier.

Dale emphasizes that it must be sincere appreciation and not just flattery. Flattery is false and only tells a person what they want to hear. In other words you become a “Yes” man only telling a person what they wish to hear than giving them an honest compliment.

Dale’s #2 Principle: Give honest, sincere appreciation.(Dale Carnegie)

Chapter 3: He who can do this has the whole world with him, He who cannot walks a lonely way

No comments:

Post a Comment