Monday, October 5, 2009

How to win friends and influence people : Part 11

A sure way of making enemies-and how to avoid it.

j0433180 “You are wrong!” If you come right out say someone is wrong that is a sure fire way to make an enemy. That is the theme of the next chapter of Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to win friends and influence people”.

It can be communicated either verbally or by visual cues. To blatantly come right out and say someone is wrong about something immediately puts them on the defensive. Even if you are 100% correct and have overwhelming evidence you have already insulted there intelligence. You may have won the battle but, you haven’t won over there hearts or minds. If anything they further entrench into there position.

To admit you may be wrong, you disarm the other person and they will be more likely admit that they may be wrong also. When you accuse someone of being wrong you may also bring on an argument (covered in previous post) which we want to avoid also. Even when we may admit to ourselves we are wrong, we don’t like it when someone rams the fact home.

Dale Carnegie Principle: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

Next Chapter: If you’re wrong, admit it.

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