The Sins of the Father
For those just joining in this is the next chapter in The Road less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. This chapter is about our parents, us and our children all in one. Peck tells us about how our parents influenced us and how we in turn influence our children. Don’t get fooled by the title because mothers and fathers get equal treatment.
As Dr. Peck tells us that unself-disciplined children often come from parents that are not self-disciplined. He quickly notes that it not the traditional “discipline” such as spanking, slapped or even worse physical and verbal abuse. Our children look up to us when they are young. They are more observant than you might think. Things you say and do, can and will have a lifelong impact.
When parents do things a certain way, it seems to the young child the way to do them, the way they should be done. – Peck
It’s not just about providing a good role model for your children it’s also about love. “Ultimately Love is everything.” Peck writes. When we love something we spend time with it, care for it and enjoy it. Why should our children be any different.
Good discipline requires time. – Peck
When we don’t give our children our time we learn little about them. When the need for discipline or action is required we have little knowledge to go by. So we will often over-react to the situation at hand or just let them have there own way just because it’s easier to do so. When parents have spent quality time with their children they become more astute to their children’s needs and will respond more thoughtfully.
On the other side “quality of discipline afforded by loving parents is superior to the discipline of unloving parents.”(Peck). As with most things in life a balance must be struck. Children will also perceive the time and amount of quality time given to them. This in turn gives them a feel for how much they are valued by their parents.
Action speaks louder than words as the saying goes. Children also pick up this also. Some unloving parents profess their love, but don’t devote a meaningful amount of time to them. It may work for awhile but, eventually when the words don’t match the action they can catch on.
On a personal note:
At the beginning of this post,and even this series, I was attempting to review the contents of this book. Working in my own thoughts were my own personal experiences in my life. This chapter touches me deeply being a parent myself of two young children. This has made search my own discipline or should I say lack of discipline. Do I always provide the best example to my own children? Admittedly I do not. Does this mean I don’t love them? No it doesn’t and I love them dearly. Could I do better? Yes I could and I will.
I’m going to continue this chapter on my next post as this one is getting too long as it is.
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